is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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