At least make sure they are 18
Why
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
