Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
