I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
