i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize