PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
