Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
