Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
