maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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