So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize