Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
