Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
