I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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