Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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