I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
handjob tips. give me some.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
