my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
