You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He better not be in your backpack
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can you repeat that, but with context?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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