Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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