and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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