maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
