You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
