I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
