So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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