Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
