Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you had me at cake vodka
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
