The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have post one night stand depression
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