just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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