I'm sorry my penis didn't work
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize