Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
