i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize