i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
