I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
