I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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