Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
