You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
