Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
