Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
