your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
