Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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