I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize