Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
