You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
