she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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