I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
