My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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