did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
