Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize