She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
