you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if only i could text you this smell
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
