is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
