I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
