Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Can you bring me the toilet please
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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