I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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