I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
