her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
50% drunk capacity currently
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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