So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
