I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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