You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
