You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
