He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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