Only a mothe r could love this liver
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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