Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize