remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's Friday. Sex?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize