Ambien. No doubt about it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
