i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who died my cat blue again?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
