Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
