Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
