He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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