And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
