She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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