What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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