but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize