Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
