My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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