this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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