That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I just shit out all my problems.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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