things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
